Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
