I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
