Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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