some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
