Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
