Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
