I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
