how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
