I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
