I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
