We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
