Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I saw his package. It spoke to me.

Fav 11 3601 784
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(937): View more from Ohio

I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar

Fav 2 2296 1202
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(775): View more from Nevada

I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds

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(614): View more from Ohio

I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men

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