I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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