Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
