I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
