Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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