I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
