I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
