But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
