Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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