I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
