you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
