Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
