I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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