idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
