Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
