I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
