1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
