the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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