I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
my liver is dry heaving
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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