Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
