When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
