hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I need to stop coming to work sober
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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