She is in my trunk
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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