if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
organizing the empties. That sober.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
