Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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