in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
