Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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