you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
