I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
