we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
