A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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