all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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