dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have aggressive nipples.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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