just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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