Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
