you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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