wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
