I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
