my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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