That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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