I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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