I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
