Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
