He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
