And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
