Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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