I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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